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[01 Jul 2003|06:12pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

lalalalala soo hella bored righ now. 6 more days before i go on the cruise! i cant wait. theres hella nuthing to do here at the house. all i do is sit aroud and watch them play videa games. sometimes i play but its not very exciting. yesterday i went to this bball game with my cuz. i got to meet some of his friends. they pretty koo i guess. then we went to the movies and watched the italian job? yea it was pretty ok. i really really wanted to watch bruca almighty but it got cancelled when we got there! that was so gay. today i cant go out cuz i have to cleannn. ahhh thats gayyy. well anyway i guess ill go now.

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chillen [29 Jun 2003|02:22am]
[ mood | awake ]

wow i think i have insomnia!!! i cant seem to go to sleep. i always sleep at like 2 or 4 in the morningggg. ahhh it sux! i mean i want to go to sleep but i jux cant seem to. this is really gay. you know wha i had to do this afternoon??? i had to walk from the gym back to my cuz's house! ots like freakin 100 degrees outside and its like 4 miles! sheesh it sucked. hmm lets see.. what else did i do today... oo yeah!! i went to my cuzzinsa church too.. 2 hour service mangg. never seen anything like it. lol. when i got home we had like this freakin huge ass burrito. it was like HUGEEEEE!! i bet you cant even imagine how huge it is. its like... as long as ur writs to ur elbow and it was so fat that u cant stick it up ur ass!! omygoodnessss. cuz if u tried..whooooooo that would be jux painful like a muthaaa. oo yeah and i played with bb guns today!! ahahaha u shoulda seen me out there. lol. i was all crawling on the ground and stuff. i got hit in the knee too! grrrr. it hurt. after i got home from doing that...i went to 7 eleven with all my homies and cuzz and bro and i freakin treated them to a slushie. arent i jux soo nice?? haha yes i am. i dun wanna hear any comments about that from u mer!! lol..cuz i am....sorta...today... lol. anyway imma go to sleep now. laterz!!

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[26 Jun 2003|01:00am]
[ mood | crappy ]

Oh my goodness im finally here in cali..the flight was ok. actually i got here yesterday but i only had enough time to write in it today. so anyways...HE finally broke it off with me. i was kind of like whoa... i didnt even expect it to come from him like that..it was kinda surprising. my cousin was like dont cry, i know u wanna. lolz and i acted like it didnt matter to me. that everything was jus fine and dadny. but i know later on im going to be like man this sux. when i get home im going to be sitting there and im going to remember.......gawwww. this is gay. i shouldnt be feeling like this. my cousin told me not to even worry bout it cuz theres others guys i can hook up wit lolz.. that foo jux straight up crazy. im glad im here in cali instead of in texas all by my onesome sitting in my house doing shiet. at least here i can keep myself occupied and not think of it that much. well i guess ill leave it at that..f-in guys are stupid.

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[20 Jun 2003|07:45pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Wow i havent updated in awhile...lets see..whats been going on...i have only 3 more days to go till i go to cali. mang i cant wait. there is no longer anything for me in saggie. nowun to miss, nowun to go see. i have lost all emotion towards my once beloved hunnie. it hurts to know that he meant everything to me and yet i meant nothing to him. its not official yet but i think that this time its not going to work out anymore. the next time we talk will be the last. im just waiting for that call. 8 months down the drain. i cant believe he had the nerve to say that stuff to me and then not even call me back for 6 days! yes its been 6 days since i have talked to him. how aweful is that? It jux goies to show that i was right. he doesnt care about me. this was all jux a game where he takes all and i lose everything. i have given so much to him that i dunt feel i can give to anyone else anymore. its like i lost it all to him. after this no longer will i fall for guys werdz. they dont mean anything to me anymore. jux forget it. maybe someday i will meet a guy that will sweep me off my feet and i will no longer feel that im giving everything and getting nothing in return. maybe one day i will find a guy who will give as much as i will. but for now i am WAY too young for this shiet.lolz i should be out having fun with friends and being a pimp without worrying about a bf that will tie me down. i think that thats all bfs do. tie you down and keep you from having fun. well there are a few exceptions to that though. there are some relationships that are for the best. for example: meryl and brandon. they are so good together! i believe they will get married. and i better be invited too! and i better be one of the baby's ninangs/godmother. lolz. yeah welll anyway i cant wait to go to cali! maybe i could score some #'s. ahaha nah jk. guys are gay. i dunt want no foo's number. shoo dis gurl is gonna be single till she 18! woot woot! single is the way to be. well anyways i guess imma leave it at that. and for the guys that wanna holla...i jux wanna say...friends?

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school's out!!! [03 Jun 2003|07:00pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

School os out today! im excited yet rather sad. Freshman year is over. The first year of high school is always gonna be memorable to me. wow chris was so sweet today. he wrote me a lil note saying how im always gonna be his number 1 buddy. awwww. goshies then he gave me a hug like he was never gonna see me again. summer has begun! and so far im bored. hahaha. well well...i went to Anhs graduation on sunday! i cant believe shes going away to college already. i wanna go to college and get this ish over with....

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WHOA! [31 May 2003|03:05am]
[ mood | amused ]

Im at houston right now where i used to live. well not really houston but close to it. I got to see all my friends that i havent seen in almost 4 years! it was surprising to see all of them all grown up. I dont think they recognized me... haha. It was fun seeing everyone agian. everything is so different here now. Right now im at my brother's friends house spending the night. The lil kids are so fascinating. I like being around them cuz their soo much fun. they make me laugh. Wow its like really late right now. haha the kids are playing a game that deals with their crushes and who they like. they are so crazy. they are already talking about who they are going to marry and who they are going to kiss and who they will divorce! mangg even i dunt think about that stuff! these kids are way too advanced for me! hahaha. The lil boys name is jomar and the older girl's name is roanne. Jomar is 6 and roanne is 10. SOO KYOOTE! even though im having so much fun here i still miss johnny. he didnt even call me! i told him to call me today and tomorrow but he didnt call me today.grrr maybe tomorrow. well i guess imma bounce for now. imma go watch cartoons with my lil buddies.

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hmmm trust? [26 May 2003|06:21pm]
[ mood | worried ]

I found out that you cant ever really trust someone. No matter how long you have known them or how much u trusted them before. That trust can so easily be broken. I just cant believe that he did that to me. I havent had enough time to write in here but this happened like last week. i just now came around to writing it down. it makes me so mad when i think about it but i guess nothing could have been done. now i feel like i cant trust him anymore and everytime i turn my back, hes gonna do sumthing... I trusted him fully and never doubted him. But now things are completetly different. I just dont see how one can be in a relationship where they cant even trust the one they are with. I mean whats the point of it all when all you do is worry about it everytime you are apart from each other. I have no idea what to do. Its like i feel like i need a break from it all. but then again i dun wanna be apart from him. Actually this weekend i had so much fum with my cousins and brothes that being single didnt seem like such a bad idea to me. but then before i go to sleep at night i think about it and i cant stand the thought of not having HIM by my side. Right now it may seem as if everything is fine and dandy but im still worrying....

well anyway i have another thought in my mind. Over the summer im gonna be away for like a whole month. I wont be seeing him at all the whole summer. i think...what will happen?! oo my.. so many things could happen. well im going to leave it at that for now.


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[17 May 2003|08:58pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i finally finished my movie im doing! its so ghetto! ahah u cant even hear us speaking! But it was all good though. I got to chase down the ice cream truck! lolz. it was funny. errr im so bored its not even funny... ahhhhhhh i feel kinda annoyed today. like everything is like...annoying? i dunt know why though. Everything people do around me makes me wanna slap them! ahaha maybe thats just how i really am..

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blah [12 May 2003|08:22pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

GRRR i had an IPC test today that i didnt even study for. i think i failed it! ahhh! I was doing so good in that class too. o well we'll jux have to wait and see till tomorrow. All this English hw isnt helping either. Im supposed to be doing it right now but im writing in here. im such a procrastinator.. ima have to kick that habit soon haha. its not good for me. WOW this is wierd... i never wrote in an online journal before. im like writing down all my thoughts for all the world to see. I gotta use it though cuz my nice nice friends sister wasted a code on me. dont want it to go down the drain now..muahahaha. im so tired! i went to sleep before right when i got home. and im still tired right now. This skoo stuff is really draining me. cant wait till im out! but im only a freshman..3 more years of high skoo and more years for college after that. ahhh well... guess ill go ahead and get started on my hw now...blehhhhh

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BORED!! [11 May 2003|07:23pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Hmmm im so bored right now... like always..haha im such a loser. MER MER is a loser toooooo. oo crap she jux saw what i wrote. hahaha o well...its true...lolz jk. well well.. this tuesday will be the 7th month i have been in a relationship with my hun. WOW that is freakin long for me.. but i think that its all been worth it. Through all the hard times, weve been able to make it. im so happy that im with him. He's changed my whole outlook on relationships...

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